St. Patrick’s Day

Today is an international holiday of sorts. That’s right, it’s St. Patrick’s Day. A day to celebrate the birth of a man who was incarcerated in Whales for a long time, then travelled to Ireland to spread a religion that would, eventually, tear the country apart.

So, every time I have sex with my wife she HAS to get pregnant?

Not in my religion. But, yes, i your religion she does.

Oh, I see.

That SHOULD be the way that argument plays out, but for some reason, it never is. Weird.

A holiday which is usually celebrated by consuming a ridiculous amount of alcohol, mass vomiting and the wearing of green things.

What did you do today smartass?

Well, over the past few days I’ve had a minor technical problem which has hindered my ability to blog, tweet, post, and other Internet verbs.

I’d ordered the components for a new PC build last week – I say “new PC build” it’s more of an upgrade, except that I’ve only replaced everything but the drives and chassis – and waited for the delivery of my new PC components on the Friday. When they finally arrived, I tore them from their packaging (like the child that I am) without bothering to check the invoice (as you do), and began assembling the pieces.

It wasn’t until after it was built and ready for it’s first run, that I noticed something was wrong.

It wasn’t booting.

I consulted the motherboard. Checked all of my wiring. Took it apart, and built it again. Checked the motherboard manual.

Still nothing.

Then I noticed a little red LED was lit up. I checked it out in the manual. It turns out that this LED lights up if there is a problem with the RAM. But it can be remedied by pressing a small button next to it. That way the system will shut down, and attempt to set itself up correctly to use the installed RAM.

Still nothing, after an hour of testing different settings. So I took the RAM out to inspect it, making sure there were not bent pins, bad contacts of even any smells coming from them. Then I realised that the RAM they’d sent me didn’t match the RAM I’d ordered.

I consulted the invoice. I was right. they had, indeed, sent me the wrong product.

I called them, the first guy wasn’t sure what to do, so told me to call the support team. I called the support team, the guy there said that it would have to be returned and that I had to call the returns department. He hung up before telling me the number to call, so I called the first number again and asked for the returns department.

Eventually, I got through to the returns department. After a 5 second phone call, I was sent an email with a RMA code and an address. I had to send it back to them, and pay for the pleasure.

A few days later, I received an email telling me that they where refunding the cost of the RAM. So, I called to find out if they had any more they could send me instead. It turned out that they didn’t even have the specific model in the first place, ad that they should have never taken my order.


That’s the second time I’ve ordered something from this company and they’ve messed it up both times. Needless to say, I shan’t be ordering from them in the future.

Anyway, I ordered some more RAM from a reputable supplier yesterday, and it came today. So I’d spent most of the morning chilling out on the couch, waiting for delivery.

This gave me plenty of time to finish reading my friend’s story (see my previous blog post about it), and get quite far into both “Never Let Me Go” and “The Nuclear Platypus Biscuit Bible”. I would recommend both to anyone. “Never…” being a piece of very well written Japanese literature and “Nuclear” being one of the funniest books I’ve read in the longest time (think “Hitch-hiker’s Guide” meets “The Old Testament according to Spike Miligan”)

Then, exactly 1.4 billions of 6.1 trillions of 1/1,000th of a jiffy before the SpapOopGannopOlop could respond, the God-Biscuit and the Paradise Frog merged into the Rudimentary Kumquat. Seething with unfettered cosmic energies of Basic Is-ness, they absorbed the nearby binary star-system and sprouted luxurious locks of hair from every pore and concavity of the kumquat’s pulpy and flaccid body.

I mean, how can you turn absurdity of that calibre down?


I’m publishing this on the latest RC for Firefox 4, and as such they’ve not bothered adding support for spell checking by default. I know that you can install them, but I don’t want to have to rely on Firefox to tell me that my spelling sucks, I prefer to find out on my own. A manual spell check before posting something is always better.

Also, if anyone knows where I can purchase the original (and I mean original Mirage) TMNT comics, please let me know.

If you don’t know what TMNT means, then I hope English isn’t your primary language. If it is then please, kindly load yourself into this cannon, ready to be shot into the sun.

Note To Self

  1. Use fewer commas.
  2. Recommend has two m’s and one c.
  3. Literature, literally has two t’s.
  4. Take over Universe
  5. Buy milk

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Jamie is a .NET developer specialising in ASP.NET MVC websites and services, with a background in WinForms and Games Development. When not programming using .NET, he is either learning about .NET Core (and usually building something cross platform with it), speaking Japanese to anyone who'll listen, learning about languages, writing for this blog, or writing for a blog about Retro Gaming (which he runs with his brother)