I had a post all thought up earlier on today. It was about something which seemed important at the time, too. Clearly it wasn’t that important, otherwise I’d have remembered it. I was feeling a little down earlier, so it could have had something to do with that.

Instead, I’ll change the topic of this post to that of memory loss. Unfortunately, this might end up being another rant of mine. I apologise in advance.

The truth is, I’m suffering from memory loss recently. I don’t know how long it’s been going on for, mainly because I can’t remember when it started. The strange thing is, I can remember some things, but not others. For instance, I can remember a conversation I had with a friend over a year ago – we were talking about how bad she thought her life was, and I’d mentioned some pretty harrowing things from my past and she started crying, “That’s terrible, Jamie” she cried out at one point.

It’s not as if it’s affecting my short term memory only, either. I can remember that I visited a friend last night, and we were sat chatting about all sorts of things (Spooks, and the fact the in America it’s called MI5 because “Spooks” can be a racists term for African American people, was one of them). I can’t remember where I went during my walk earlier, or what I did yesterday morning, for example.

I’ve been to see my doctor, and he’s said “At 24 you shouldn’t be having memory loss”. Really Doc, is that all you can say? I’m starting to think that it might be linked to my drowning feeling of self worth. Which would be a vicious circle to be trapped it. And here’s why:

I feel my self worth dripping away, which affects my memory. Then I go for an interview, I get asked some questions that I know that I know the answers too, but can’t recall the information. I fail to answer the question, and don’t get the job. This affects my self worth. Ad infinitum

That’s not really been helped that much by my hair falling out either. Plenty of people have told me that it doesn’t matter, and I’ve never seen myself as being defined by my image, but at a time when my life is slightly out of control, I need some sort of control. It’s just a shame that my mind has decided that I need to control my hair follicles.

I’ve been shown some documentation supporting homoeopathic medicinal treatments for androgenic alopecia, but it all seems a little wishy washy. Lots of “after 6 months of treatment x% of patients showed some improvement in hair regrowth and strengthening,” etc..

I’ve also read some hypotheses linking it to social standing and how the older, more mature, and socially grandeur members of a group of primates will have hair loss. In fact, some primates have evolved a larger forehead with a receded hair line for just that purpose – some believe.

The problem with that, is that if a selection of men and women where to be asked to rate a selection of photographs of men on attractiveness, I feel that most of the “attractive” men would have a head full of hair. It’s what I call the George Castanza paradox.

Either way, this doesn’t help with the memory loss. If anyone had suggestions for a remedy, let me know.

Jamie is a .NET developer specialising in ASP.NET MVC websites and services, with a background in WinForms and Games Development. When not programming using .NET, he is either learning about .NET Core (and usually building something cross platform with it), speaking Japanese to anyone who'll listen, learning about languages, writing for this blog, or writing for a blog about Retro Gaming (which he runs with his brother)